- Stay awake between my pre and post school naps.
- Don’t barf in front of my first or second (or third, fourth, or fifth) block classes.
- Perfect the art of relieving bouts of morning sickness en route to school. (I'll spare you the visual, but Bering Strait winds make it impossibly difficult and unattractive.)
- Eat foods other than the color beige.
Miraculously, after about 18 weeks of being a scary, sleepy, underachieving version of myself, I’ve overcome a few obstacles and moved onto more ambitious feats such as:
- Extending my bedtime…to a more adult appropriate 8:00, and limiting under-desk naps to once a day
- Pretending not to succumb to the brilliant, constantly beckoning advertising schemes of Zulily and Gilt.
- Browsing Pinterest for our nonexistent nursery.
- Rationing my Nutella intake because it takes so damn long to order more.